Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
