Its about making memories worth repressing
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
