with your own penis?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
