u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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