There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
