You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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