So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
