My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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