i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
