I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
