I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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