Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
