yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
