He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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