I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
