Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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