And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
