On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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