when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
