she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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