yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
