The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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