sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
