They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
