Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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