I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
