some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
