Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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