I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
