Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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