Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
