problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
