dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
