i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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