Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
