Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
