i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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