now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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