you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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