So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
