I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
