he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
