biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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