Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
