just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
