what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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