return my video game
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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