I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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