No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
