That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
