any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
